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Old 02-18-2013, 12:51 PM   #1
#860
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Default On becoming illegal

On Becoming Illegal.
You'll love this!


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Becoming Illegal
(Actual letter from an Iowa resident sent to his senator,)
The Honorable Tom Harkin
731 Hart Senate Office Building
Phone (202) 224 3254
Washington DC , 20510

Dear Senator Harkin,

As a native Iowan and excellent customer of the Internal Revenue Service, I am writing to ask for your assistance. I have contacted the Department of Homeland Security in an effort to determine the process for becoming an illegal alien and they referred me to you.

My primary reason for wishing to change my status from U.S. Citizen to illegal alien stems from the bill which was recently passed by the Senate and for which you voted. If my understanding of this bill is accurate, as an illegal alien who has been in the United States for five years, all I need to do to become a citizen is to pay a $2,000 fine and income taxes for only three of the last five years. I know a good deal when I see one and I am anxious to get the process started before everyone figures it out.
Simply put, those of us who have been here legally have had to pay taxes every year so I'm excited about the prospect of avoiding two years of taxes in return for paying a $2,000 fine. Is there any way that I can apply to be illegal retroactively? This would yield an excellent result for me and my family because we paid heavy taxes in 2008 and 2009.

Additionally, as an illegal alien I could begin using the local emergency room as my primary health care provider. Once I have stopped paying premiums for medical insurance, my accountant figures I could save almost $10,000 a year.

Another benefit in gaining illegal status would be that my daughter would receive preferential treatment relative to her law school applications, as well as 'in-state' tuition rates for many colleges throughout the United States for my son.

Lastly, I understand that illegal status would relieve me of the burden of renewing my driver's license and making those burdensome car insurance premiums. This is very important to me, given that I still have college age children driving my car.
If you would provide me with an outline of the process to become illegal (retroactively if possible) and copies of the necessary forms, I would be most appreciative. Thank you for your assistance

Your Loyal Constituent, (hoping to reach 'illegal alien' status rather than just a bonafide citizen of the USA )
Donald Ruppert
Burlington , IA
Get your Forms (NOW)!!
Call your Internal Revenue Service at 1-800-289-1040
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Old 02-18-2013, 01:52 PM   #2
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Sounds like a deal
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Old 02-18-2013, 02:11 PM   #3
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Tom Harkin is an asshole, commie buttfucker.

Someone should fuck him up in a dark alley..... Bad.
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Old 02-18-2013, 03:16 PM   #4
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Originally Posted by Django View Post
Tom Harkin is an asshole, commie buttfucker.

Someone should fuck him up in a dark alley..... Bad.
That got me to thinking Tim.

And this is sad, but I cannot think of any politician that I respect enough that I would invite to my house for dinner if I could. And that's from the local level to federal level.
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Old 02-18-2013, 08:33 PM   #5
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That got me to thinking Tim.

And this is sad, but I cannot think of any politician that I respect enough that I would invite to my house for dinner if I could. And that's from the local level to federal level.
We're dicing with death here, Johnie.

If I were to say what I'm thinking, I could become an enemy of the state.

Governments and religions will be the death of us all.
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Old 02-18-2013, 08:49 PM   #6
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yep....
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