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Old 12-16-2012, 10:51 AM   #1
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Default Woman shot in the head.

Subject: Woman shot in back of head



Linda Brunette, 29 , a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.



Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in in-laws' driveway with the windows rolled up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head. He became concerned and walked over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open and she looked very strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.



The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head. A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head. When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out but quickly recovered.



Linda is a blonde, a Democrat, and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence. The defective biscuit canister was analyzed and the expiration date was from 2008, so it was determined to be Bush's fault.
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Old 12-16-2012, 10:59 AM   #2
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And Nancy Pelosi has presented Anti Assault Pillsbury Biscuit Canister Legislation and that no canister in the future can contain more than 4 biscuits
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Old 12-16-2012, 12:15 PM   #3
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Sounded pretty fishy to me.

Blonde and brains generally do not go together.
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:23 PM   #4
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Maybe she's Jack's wife.

No, nevermind.

She's still under the golf cart.
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Old 12-16-2012, 02:39 PM   #5
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LMFAO
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Old 12-17-2012, 07:12 AM   #6
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Now That was Funny!
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Old 12-17-2012, 12:46 PM   #7
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Now that was Funny..................... Tim musta had a good bong rip this morn'in
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Old 12-17-2012, 02:46 PM   #8
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I wrote that at about 1:30 in the afternoon.

I never imbibe until after I've fed Willow...... between 4:30- 5.

I thought that joke was very well crafted. Kudos to John.

As a guy for whom entertaining others is an everyday affair, I found the punchline for that joke to be quite refreshingly stealthy. It distracts one with the presumption of something naughty while the facts regarding Jack's wife's remain cloaked in the diversion.

A very clever bit of humor.......... well worthy of reprise.

Thanks for the love..... AND the virtual bong hit.
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Old 12-22-2012, 05:09 PM   #9
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Has anyone raised Jack's cart yet?

These guys are slower than the raising of the Titanic.
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Old 12-22-2012, 06:21 PM   #10
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Nope, I believe he's still there
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Old 12-27-2012, 11:59 PM   #11
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Quote:
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Nope, I believe he's still there
His wife's not gonna like that very much....
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Old 12-29-2012, 08:27 PM   #12
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I've heard'a shit like this....

People leave Poppin' Fresh in a warm car and he commits suicide.

Some people reported it to the cops thinkin' they've been thru a drive-by.

The cops soon find the bits 'n clumps of raw dough and put it together.

It is funny....
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Old 12-29-2012, 08:44 PM   #13
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And I bet it's still listed as a gun crime LOL
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Old 12-29-2012, 09:26 PM   #14
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And I bet it's still listed as a gun crime LOL
It was an AR doughboy. We need to confiscate all the AR doughboys containers that hold more than 7 biscuits. The four biscuit one is ok but the 8 biscuit container.....well there's just no reason why anyone would need that many biscuits in one container. If you have to have the 8 biscuit container then you must register it and be fingerprinted first.
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Old 12-29-2012, 10:35 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SilvrSRT10 View Post
It was an AR doughboy. We need to confiscate all the AR doughboys containers that hold more than 7 biscuits. The four biscuit one is ok but the 8 biscuit container.....well there's just no reason why anyone would need that many biscuits in one container. If you have to have the 8 biscuit container then you must register it and be fingerprinted first.
And no thumb holes in the biscuits, either.

Those are real killers.
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